Om Namah Shivaya

Venkatesaya - 'Be' with Swami Venkatesananda

Daily Readings, Yoga, and Satsangs with Swami Venkatesananda

Love does not want to change

If I am love, I have no choice but to love. The other man may be bitter and his heart closed. If I hit him on his head, saying I am not going to love him, then I am lost too.

I cannot do that. I have to love, because there is nothing else in me. If someone says, “You are a fool, you are an idiot, and I am going to kill you,” I am told “Why don’ t you defend yourself, give him a blow for a blow?” I try, but it is not possible for me, because I am not made of that stuff. I am made of love, so I cannot possibly retaliate. I cannot hit him back.

Then I look at him and think, “Maybe you also have the same problem, maybe you cannot change either. I am love and therefore I cannot hit you back; maybe you are made of that stuff which makes you hit me, and probably you cannot change, either.” Why must I even want him to change? Let him be what he is. That is what St. Paul is supposed to have said: “Love doesn’t want to change, doesn’t fix any conditions.”

Question:

But how do you teach love, or is it necessary to teach love?

Swamiji:

No, it’s the other way around. If you are love, whatever you say is love, and if a student comes to you, what you teach him is nothing but love. But unless he is receptive, he may turn round and hit you. He may turn round and say, “Don’t talk rubbish.” So unless the other person is receptive, your teaching is of no value. Temporarily you may have won your point. If you apply the theory of probability to what I am going to say, what would be your answer?

In the Bible, people brought a woman to Jesus who had committed adultery; they were about to stone her. Jesus said, “He who has not sinned, let him cast the first stone.” That was a direct challenge to them. His words were full of love, but unfortunately, to them it sounded like a challenge. So they hung their heads down in shame and walked away.

Is it not possible or probable that some of them eventually became his persecutors? It’s probable. So although such teaching may appear to have some effect, it does not change a person until he is open.

Therefore to teach love is impossible, but to communicate love is possible, communicate in the sense that, when you and I are one at heart, then it is possible non-verbally to communicate love. Verbal communication is unnecessary and superfluous.